Liam watched as the last bit of Cindier Stonespeaker, the former mayor of Troy's Folly, vanished under the earthen ground that made up the center of the smallish Hellenic village that sat on the edge of the Wastes of Ra, and considered that there were far better ways to spend his anniversary.
“Well,” Megara the Messenger said, sitting down beside him, “We did warn the git.”
Liam looked at his lover and tried for a smile. But it was hard to feel anything but a grinding frustration and gathering dread. He had been on Purgatory – or, since Purgatory was an immense hollow sphere with a sun in the center of it, maybe the better term would be inside Purgatory – for almost a year, give or take a few weeks. And what a year. He had faced down literal gods – all of them banished to Purgatory in the ancient past – matched blades and wits with assassins and savage lizardmen, slain monsters and lain beautiful women.
And yet, despite all of that, he could still be completely caught off guard sometimes.
“I've still not found any records of it over here!” Tethis called from the building across the way.
Any town – even one as small as Troy's Folly – that called Athena their patron goddess would have a library, especially half a year after the first printing press had been built. And of their small group, Tethis was the one most likely to end up cowering atop said library when thrust into a situation like this. The short, curvaceous gobliness - scribe, mage and his occasional lover - was cupping her hands around her mouth to help her voice carry across the space between the library and the temple that Meg and Liam and a few dozen other villagers were sheltering on.
“Of course you haven't found any records,” Meg called back. “No one's ever run into one of these fucking things before.” She paused. “Do you think it's still there?”
Liam sighed, picked up a discarded sandal – left behind by Stonespeaker – and threw it out over the open ground that stretched between the two buildings. Detecting motion, the creature that had been hounding this village for two days and Liam's party since they arrived, broke the ground above it's be-tentacled, razor-toothed maw, and spat. Several dozen green-slicked crystalline darts flew into the air, leaving behind white contrails of smoke as they shredded the sandal into pieces.
Meg shook her fist at the maw as the ground shook, shuddered, and subsided – the earth flowing back into place over where the creature had opened its firing hole.
Liam and his party – Meg, Tethis and his former slave and current bodyguard, Liviana – had been sent to Troy's Folly after the roundabout chain of political dominoes that usually operated in Purgatory had fallen into place. Athena had stopped getting tithes from the village and had a sudden uptick of desperate pleas for aid. The soldiers she sent had vanished. Being unwilling to risk her men and women's lives needlessly, she had tapped a messenger to head to Sobek.
Sobek – the crocodile-headed Pesdjeti god of ameliorated evil and Liam's patron – had extorted a few chests of gold from her, then dispatched Liam.
Why me? Liam had asked even as he packed his belongings.
Why you? Sobek had asked, sounding shocked. You defeated Aries' daughter in single combat. He had jerked his thumb over his shoulder at Liviana, who at that moment had been sharpening her short sword. You foiled one of Purgatory's most dangerous assassins, killed a basilisk single handed, broke a lizardman tribe over your knee, killed a minotaur with your bare hands...do I need to go on?
The fact the minotaur had died of an aneurysm – as Tethis had determined afterward while a baffled Liam and Meg watched her cut into the monster – didn't seem to faze a single bard in the whole damned world. And now?
Now, the only good thing Liam could say about this expedition was that the monster had eaten their horses first. Well, that, and the fact that Tethis had gotten used to her new adornments. Even with healing magic, getting sensitive parts of one’s anatomy pierced made the rigors of the road somewhat harder to bear.
“I suppose it could be worse,” Meg said, nodding. “It could be-”
The sun that hung overhead plunged from light to darkness as if a door had been slammed. Despite a year of experience, Liam still jerked with surprise. He missed sunsets. He missed driving places. He missed the internet. He missed not having to worry about dying constantly.
The sky rumbled and rain started to patter onto the roof
“-raining,” Meg finished.
“I also miss weather reports,” Liam muttered, then forced himself to his feet. He hurried back to the makeshift shelter that several of the villagers had erected on the temple's roof to protect them from the sun. Sitting underneath it, he pulled out his iPod and fiddled with it. A blessing from the goddess Bridget months before had prevented it from running out of batteries, but he was pretty sure music wouldn't help his mood at the moment.
Meg joined him a moment later, slowly closing a single wing around his shoulders. Being a valkyrie, Meg had to feel even more useless. What use was her immense strength and incredible physical acuity, against an enemy the size of a house that had a shield of earth to protect it? Even her flight was useless – the thing could spit those acid-covered darts faster than even she could fly. Liam leaned against her and sighed.
“You'll think of something,” she said, her voice confident.
Liam grunted.
“Come on,” she said. “This isn't even as bad as when we were tasked to kill that dragon.”
“It wasn't a dragon, it was a crystalback with delusions of grandeur,” Liam said, grinning slightly. “And this is, easily, ten times worse.”
“Says you. That crystalback blew a wing off.” Meg lifted said wing, flapping it once. Only quick action by Tethis' healing magics had knitted flesh and bone back together, and only Meg's amazing stamina had got her back to flying again within weeks. Liam rubbed his chin as the rain continued to patter against the temple roof and the makeshift protection. He blinked.
“Wait, why are you saying this is better than that? You-” He stopped, spluttering. Meg beamed at him, delighting in his confusion. Liam laughed despite himself. He leaned against Meg, relaxing slightly. No matter what happened, if he was with her, he'd be okay. He closed his eyes.
An idea formed...
The next morning, the sun burst into life and cleared away the clouds in about five minutes of shining. The rain faded and the surface of the temple gleamed with reflective light. The pails and buckets that the villagers had set out were tapped for water, and Liam splashed some into his face, beaming as he stepped to the edge of the temple, stretching.
“I knew it,” Meg said. “You have an idea.”
“Kinda,” Liam said, rolling one arm. “Anyone got a pair of sandals they're willing to give up?”
One of the villagers – a pretty elf girl who smiled at Liam shyly – stepped over, holding up her sandals. Liam took both of them and hefted them, then tossed one out over the field. Once more, the monster opened fire. Once more, steaming contrails were all that could be seen of the haze of crystal darts that shredded the sandal. Once more, the shredded chunks hit the ground with terrible finality.
Liam tossed the remaining sandal from hand to hand.
“Do you know what causes condensation?” he asked.
Meg shrugged. “I don't even know what condensation is.”
“Basically,” Liam said, “It's due to temperature difference. That thing is a lot hotter or colder than the world above it. Well, its guts are. Like, a lot hotter or colder.”
Meg nodded.
“Any chemical process that creates that kind of heat can't be stable,” Liam said, looking at her. “At least, that's what my layman's knowledge of biology says. And, I mean, this critter lives underground and is rare enough that no one on Purgatory has seen one before. Being underground is a great thermal regulator.”
Meg chuckled. “Like a leaf pile.”
“So, we just need to screw with that heat difference,” Liam said. He rubbed his palms together, then cupped them around his mouth. “Oi! Tethis! Liviana!”
A moment later, the gobliness and the elf were standing at the edge of the library.
“Liam had an idea!” Meg shouted to Liviana. “You owe me coin, Liv.”
“I'll pay up when you admit Plato was wrong about everything,” Liv shouted back.
“That-” Meg spluttered. “That wasn't part of the bet!”
“I'm changing the bet,” Liv called back. “The parameters have changed – you can't stick with an old bet when the situation's changed.”
Meg clenched her hands, then glared at Liam, who was covering his mouth with one hand. Meg scowled. “Spartans. You can't trust them.”
Liam shook his head. “You slept with her.”
“Well, that's because she's incredibly attractive,” Meg said. “And most of the time, she's perfectly reasonable-”
“She tried to kill us when we first met,” Liam muttered.
“But this is just-” Meg continued, ignoring him.
Liam held up his hand, pausing her tirade for a moment. He called over: “Tethis, can you make a conduit spell through space via a physical object that is linked to another physical object?”
“They'd need to be made of the same stuff,” Tethis said, nodding. “And in a great deal of contact. It'd be better if said contact took place over a sympathetically relevant situation.” She stroked her chin. “What are we channeling?”
“Fire,” Liam said.
“O-kay,” Tethis said, her brow furrowing – visible even at this distance. “What are we using as a conduit?”
Liam slid his finger to his neck, then tugged off his crucifix. He held it up, and it glinted. In Purgatory, the cross had never transmuted from symbol of hideous torture to what Liam thought of it as – a symbol of hope, unity, forgiveness, sacrifice, the endless compassion of the Savior. All things worth wearing around one's neck. But it had gotten him attacked at least three times by people thinking he was some kind of wandering sadist – usually, they were folk whose family and loved ones had died nailed to a cross in one of the harsh punishments that the gods and kings of Purgatory meted out.
It was still gold.
Tethis' ears – a visible tell even at a distance – perked up. “But we don't have any gold over here!” she said.
Liam glanced at Meg. Meg arched an eyebrow.
“Yes, you do,” Liam called over.
Tethis' blush was bright enough to almost glow. “N-No, we don't.” She crossed her arms conspicuously over her chest.
“For the Gods' sake, woman, lives are at stake!” Meg called, her voice amused.
Several of the villagers who were sheltering on the library were looking at Tethis curiously – while Liv was covering her mouth, her shoulders shaking. Tethis looked completely miserable, then turned her back to as many villagers as possible. She tugged her shift up, squirmed, then turned back around, holding a pair of golden rings connected on a chain.
“You're paying to get this replaced!” she shouted.
“Of course, I am,” Liam said.
Meg whispered to him, sotto voce: “Think she hates you now?”
“No, no,” Liam said, shaking his head.
“What will we use for the fi-” Tethis started. Then she stopped. Her eyes widened and she almost dropped her gold chain off the roof. “Oh no, you don't, don't you dare!” She shouted, shaking her free fist at Liam.
“Now she hates me,” Liam murmured to Meg. Louder, he called back to Tethis. “Listen, Tethis, everything in that library can be replaced. The price of books has dropped to coppers since the printing press came out. Athena will pay for it, I'm sure.”
“But they're... they're...” Tethis spluttered. “They're books!”
“I know, I hate it too, but do we have any other choices?” Liam called over.
Liv stepped up beside Tethis, putting her hand on the shorter woman's shoulder. “There actually is a minor problem with us setting fire to a building we are currently standing on.”
“No,” Tethis said, shaking her head, her hand going to Liv's hand for a moment, squeezing her. “The channeling spell will dump the fire through the connective items. The fires go out – we just need to time it properly. The fire needs to get hot enough – the spell needs to be ready, and we can't set the fire while that thing is down there.”
Liam remembered the first horrifying hour after they fled into town. The monster bursting through the floor of the small tavern that they had come too. The shopkeep dragged screaming underneath as his daughter reached for him. He shuddered.
“Well,” Meg said, “She's got a point. What do we do?”
“We distract it,” Liam said, turning to face the townies. “All right, everyone! Let's get some ammunition!”
A few moments later, everyone was ready. Liv was at the side of the library's roof, rope in hands, the rest of the length held by several volunteer villagers. They would provide an anchor, while she swung around to land in the library's bottom floor and start setting the fires. The spell was being created – Tethis knelt in the center of a glowing sphere of geometric lines, her foci crystal in her hands. Years of practice had made most of her spells no longer require the crystal, but the extra power couldn't hurt.
Liam already felt his crucifix shivering with sympathetic magic. The connection felt sturdy enough that even someone as mystically inclined as him – read: amazingly little – could sense it. He remembered how Tethis' chain and his crucifix had met and smiled faintly. She might not have been as submissive as the woman who had inspired her to get the, ah, accoutrement, but she still enjoyed what it brought to the act of lovemaking.
Meg bounced from foot to foot, holding one of the many sandals. Other villagers had made throwing implements by balling up clothing, and they were waiting as well.
“Remember,” Liam said. “We need to time this right – the distraction has to last.”
The villagers nodded.
“Ready!” Liv called out.
Tethis – being too focused on the spell – merely nodded. One of the villagers watching for just such a gesture, called across the way: “The little priest ready too!”
“She's a wizard, thank you very much!” Liam shouted. “She casts arcane-” He stopped himself. “Nevermind. Liv! Now!”
Liv swung herself forward and whipped through the window into the library. Liam threw the first sandal. It was shredded. Another was pressed to his hand and he threw it. It was shredded. Across the way, he could see light starting to bloom behind one window. Liv had fought as a warrior for Aries for decades before joining him, and he could see her experience at the less savory tasks of being a soldier hadn't left her. He threw another sandal.
It plopped onto the ground, unharmed.
“Oh shit,” Liam hissed. And before anyone could stop him, he ran forward and leaped off the side of the temple. This was one of the times where Liam had a few moments to think about how much of an idiot he was. The ground was about twenty feet away and rushed up towards him with frightening swiftness. Memories of falling before, of falling when he first arrived on Purgatory, of falling when Meg crashed while carrying him away from Aries soldiers, of falling when a malfunctioning Ancient teleportation shrine had dropped him several feet to the right of a city's walls.
Then there were no memories and just the physics of hitting, rolling, and coming up onto his side. His body felt battered and bruised and completely soaked with mud – but it was the mud that kept him from feeling more than just idiocy. Adrenaline burned away the remainder of the pain as he forced himself to his feet and started to run, his bare feet slapping on the soaked ground. He felt his feet skittering underneath him with every step and held out his arms, yelping as he skidded forward and almost slammed into the building built beside the temple.
Then the monster, drawn away from the library, burst from the ground behind him. Here, the mud saved Liam once more. Rather than emerging cleanly, as it had yesterday, the monster had to force itself through the mud. Its tentacles got gummed up on clods of soaked earth, and Liam had time to yank his blade free and slash at one. The tentacle bent with the impact, but razor sharp steel and Tuatha enchantment both sent the tentacle tip to the ground with a spray of black blood. The monster screeched and surged out of the ground more, exposing most of its hideous greyish bulk.
Liam rolled to the side as a spray of crystal shards filled the air that he had been occupying moments before. He felt his sword Delenn slip from his palms and slap into the mud. “Fucking-” Liam grunted, reaching for it.
A tentacle wrapped around his leg.
With a sound not unlike a drum being struck by the world's most enthusiastic pit crew, a series of javelins pinned the tentacle to the muddy ground. The creature wrenched itself around and the javelins and tentacle both came free with a spray of mud. Liam kicked his foot free, scrambling backwards on his palms and knees. Behind the monster, he could see the library burning.
Liv on the roof, waving her arms in a V.
“Now, now, now!” she shouted.
Liam grabbed at his crucifix and felt it buzzing. His arm rang, as if it had been touching an electrical current. He yanked the chain off and threw it at the creature's maw. The golden cross tumbled forward, then vanished into blackness. A moment later, Liam turned around and flung himself behind the corner of the temple.
A white flash of light and heat washed around the corner. Smoke filled the air. The ground shook and the temple he was leaning against shuddered in its foundations. Liam slowly peeked his head around the corner and saw that the monster and a good chunk of the center of Troy's Folly's main road had been turned roughly inside out. Mud was spread outwards along a circular wave pattern, forming an immense crater that was painted with black blood and globular chunks of orange and white organs – each one streaked and smeared with viscera. The ribcage of the beast spread outwards in a nearly perfect circle, fanning out around the epicenter of the blast.
Then the first chunk splatted onto the ground beside his foot and the cheering that his ringing ears could barely hear turned into shrieks of shock and disgust and laughter.
For at least the children could be entertained by the bright colors of the orange and green and black gore that rained from the heavens.
* * *
Athena bowed her head fractionally to Liam, Liv, Tethis and Meg. The goddess was as short as Liam had ever seen one of the mysterious beings that ruled Purgatory, barely coming up to his shoulder. Despite this, the goddess of wisdom and weaving managed to exude an almost solid aura of physical danger. It wasn't the raw strength of personality that made Sobek such a likable son of a bitch, nor the tree-ripping might of that had made Thor's one appearance in Liam's life so memorable. Rather, it reminded him of the supreme confidence of a craftswoman with decades of practice and hands gnarled but not twisted by age.
It just so happened that one of Athena's crafts was murdering people with a sharp hunk of bronze.
“You have my thanks, Liam of Earth,” she said, foregoing the booming, echoing voice that some gods used when they wanted to be impressive. “You and your companions have once again rid Purgatory of a terrible threat.”
“It's the least we could do, ma'am,” Meg said. “Though, we did lose, uh, some possessions.” She glanced at Liam.
“Yes,” Athena said, nodding at Liam's chest. “The symbol of the Christian god.”
“It's all right,” Liam said. His voice felt heavy but he squared his shoulders and tried to ignore the twinge of guilt that sparked in him.
Meg made a quiet, inquisitive sound.
Athena, though, simply shrugged. “As you wish. The payment that your patron requested is being loaded on your ship.”
“Thank you,” Liam said, bowing to Athena.
Dismissed from the goddess' presence, the four of them started down the stairs that led up to her primary sanctum. New Athens looked like everything Liam had imagined from Meg's descriptions. Broad streets, bright white marble buildings, and an abundance of learned, wise looking people who hurried to and fro on important business. The largest area of the city that wasn't dedicated to the worship of New Athens' trifecta of gods was an immense marketplace and harbor, which was stuffed with as many ships as Olimurias.
No wonder these guys almost won the war with Sobek, Liam thought. Even with him having the defensive advantage and the terrain advantage.
“Liam, are you okay?” Meg asked.
“Huh?” Liam looked at her. The two of them reached the boardwalk that wound its way from the foot of Athena's temple to the central forum that was built into the middle of the three temples. There, the faint sound of elaborate music and the creak of a crane could be heard. Looking over, Liam saw that a crane was swinging a man in an ornate mask over the center of the forum's stage. His arms were spread and he held a sculpted metal lightning bolt in one hand.
“You're just going to go sans cross?” Meg asked.
“It is the symbol of your god,” Liv said, sniffing. “If I wasn't a walking representation of everything Aries represents - shut up Meg.” Meg closed her mouth, looking cross at being thwarted. “I'd need one.”
“You don't have a symbol of Apollo,” Liam said, frowning at Meg.
Meg snorted, quietly. “I haven't worshiped Apollo since I met you.”
Liam arched an eyebrow.
“Don't let it go to your head,” Meg said, frowning. “But I've never really been a god worshiping type. I'm more interested in natural philosophy and- and you are changing the subject.” She prodded his chest.
“Okay, fine!” Liam threw up his hands. “The answer? I'm sick of people assuming I'm some psychopath because I'm wearing a still in use method of execution and torture around my neck.”
Meg narrowed her eyes. Before she could continue, Liam turned and started to walk along the boardwalk, one hand grabbing onto the leather strap that slung around his shoulder and hip, which held a small sack of his belongings against his back. Meg moved to follow him, but didn't press him. Liam's slight scowl turned into a slight smile and he took Meg's hand with his free one. Together, they walked through the city and Liam took great pride in ignoring the scandalized looks that several of the inhabitants shot his way. He could almost read their thoughts.
Showing affection? To a woman? In public?
Yeah, eat me, Liam thought.
Meg never walked small, but he did notice that she fanned out her wings extra here, thrust out her chest more, and explicitly strutted. The tut tutting intensified and Liam's smile got wider.
Coming to the docks, they found their ship readily enough. Vulkis Shieldbreaker, who had quietly become their de facto ferryman the instant that he had seen how much treasure they regularly transported across the Platonic Sea, waved at them.
“Welcome back, oh conquering heroes!” he said, his hands on his hips. “Thu here thought you would never come back.”
“Vulkis!” Thu snapped. Thu'Chan was Vulkis' second in command and personal scribe. He was also, like several people Liam had met, part human and part animal. In this case, his head was that of a long-billed ibis bird, while his shoulders were covered with a fine dusting of feathers, leaving the rest of him nearly human looking. The beak didn't stop him from speaking clearly as he lectured his captain. “I didn't expect them to die – I expected you to leave after they were a day overdue or the instant a pretty girl distracted you.”
“And once again, my luck pays out.” Vulkis preened. He knelt down to caress the large chest that one of Athena's servants set down on his deck. That, plus the trade goods he had purchased in New Athens, left the surface of Vulkis' ship filthy with treasure. But he didn't seem to be concerned, despite the increasing boldness of lizardman raiders and pirate attacks.
Instead, he simply started to dance a jig. “Gold, gold, oh gold!”
“You can at least try to pretend you're happy we are okay, you Aesir lunatic,” Liam said.
Vulkis, in liue of responding, threw his arms around Liam and hug him so tightly that Liam felt like his spine might shatter. For all that Vulkis had become a merchant, he had still started his life as a huscral, a shield-bearing, ax-throwing warrior for the Norse gods and Norse kings. And he kept himself honed. That was a big reason why he wasn't concerned about pirates or raiders, really.
Once he let Liam go, Vulkis went about his duties of shouting his crew into motion. With the ease of veterans, they cast off and the ship began to head out of New Athens harbor and towards the tiny island that sat in the harbor's mouth. The lighthouse there was nothing to the ancient lighthouse of Alexandria, and served an entirely different purpose. On Purgatory, the curvature of the world prevented the danger of running aground at night, as the ground rose upwards before you.
Rather, the lighthouse was built with great mirrors to focus the light upwards, angled towards the other side of Purgatory. At night, the fire pit could be covered and uncovered and the city on the opposite side of Purgatory could read the flashes out into a message.
“That's still something that blows me away,” Liam said, pointing at the tower. He looked at Meg and grinned. “I'd have never thought of that.”
“I thought all us Purgatorians were fools waiting for an Earthican to bring us out of the light,” Meg teased, her eyes glinting. Liam grinned at her, turning around and leaning against the railing of the ship.
“So, question,” he said. “Who does New Athens talk too?”
Meg laughed. “Who else? The City of the Dead Gods.” She blinked. “Shit, right; not a native. The City of the Dead Gods is one of the biggest cities in Purgatory - and the only neutral one.”
“As if!” Liam scoffed. “There can't just be one.”
Meg waved one hand. “Oh, there are independent towns and villages, but this is a city. No god rules it, just craftsmen and merchants in a free council that sells to everyone equally.” She smiled.
Liam looked up. “That...” He paused. “That sounds like a fantastic place for a vacation.”